Take Intentional Action

A Research Project of

Charlyn Green Fareed, Ph.D. 

charlyngreenfareed.com

Focus on one area where you feel most impacted.  Then take action via daily practice.  If you feel it's more than one, take one at a time.


Tired:

When you share you're "tired," take a moment to reflect on in what way: emotionally, physically, or "tired" related to everything going on in your life.   Share where you are with someone you trust, then choose to get the support you need.   Use the Feeling Wheel by  Dr. Gloria Wilcox to locate just how you're REALLY feeling vs just saying, "I'm good."

https://www.thinglink.com/scene/503651459225616386

Caretaking:  

Take time to "watch" yourself.  If you find yourself consistently taking care of/worrying about everyone else and putting yourself last, (self-sacrificing) begin to practice small daily habits of taking care of self first!  Use the "airplane mask" analogy; you first, then everyone else.  You're not good to anyone else unless you've taken care of what you need to replenish your well.  Assess your needs a few times during the day using HALT:  Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Then do what you need to do for you!

Treadmill/Constant Striving:  

If you find yourself often doing too much, schedule is full, don’t know when or how to stop; take an intentional pause!  Take some deep breaths, sit quietly for a few minutes and do a body check in.  Start from the top of your head, then work your way down to your feet.  Focus on areas of tension and breath it out!  Take a nap in the middle of the day, shut down your computer at a reasonable hour, practice saying "no" - "nope."  These are complete sentences!  Think about what works for you to slow yourself down; then take small, meaningful steps daily.


**Reminder:  These behaviors are culturally embedded over generations via Mother models, so be gentle with yourself as you "rewire" and incorporate healthier behaviors and ways of living.



Resources:


​Therapy:

therapyforblackgirls.com
An online space dedicated to encouraging the mental wellness of Black women and girls

Books/Articles:

Boyd, J. (1999). Girlfriend to girlfriend: Everyday wisdom and affirmations from the sister circle.  New York: Plume.

Curphey, S. (2003, June 24). Black women mental-health needs unmet.   Women’s eNews [on-line]. Retrieved March 10, 2004, from http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1392/context/archive

DeGruy-Leary, J. (2005). Post traumatic slave syndrome: America’s legacy of enduring injury and healing, Uptone Press.

Green Fareed, C. (2014). Coaching Strong Black Women.  
Coaching World, Issue 9 February 2014.
    
Jones, C., & Shorter-Gooden, K. (2003). Shifting: The double lives of Black women in America. New York:Harper Collins.

Neal-Barnett, A. (2003). Soothe your nerves: The Black woman’s guide to understanding and overcoming anxiety, panic, and fear.New York: Fireside.

Parks-Bani, C. (2001, October). Exploring the “strong Black woman” motif:  Implications for health promotion and disease prevention among African American women.  Pilot study findings presented at the 129th American Public Health Association Annual Meeting, Atlanta, GA.

Scott, K. (1991). The habit of surviving: Black women’s strategies for life. New Brunswick, N.J:Rutgers University Press

Thompkins, T. (2004) The real lives of strong Black women.  St. Paul, MN:Consortium.

 Vanzant, I. (1995). The value in the valley: A Black woman’s guide through life’s
  dilemmas. New York: Simon & Schuster.
 
Vanzant, I. (2008).  Tapping the power within: A path to self-empowerment for women.             
 New York: Smiley Books/Hay House, Inc.